How Fitting
by ElegantFantasies
Summary: Bellatrix's last day at Hogwarts has arrived and she needs to tell Tom the truth.. she loves him. Will he ever love her back? (One Shot)


Wow. Seven years. How the time had flown. And still, Bella's mind had not wavered from the goal she set the first day she walked through those heavy wooden doors. Her mind flashed back to her conversation with Tom under the tree where the Lapwing rested.

"What direction would you go?" he had asked and her reply led to the explosion of experience that built up in her later years.

"Up,"she had said. "Because the land ends, but the sky is limitless." How fitting. Bella could hardly stand to be tied to the ground. She needed eternal life, even if it were only pages in a history book. She wondered if maybe she should have dabbled in her early years at Hogwarts, enjoying the golden days of her childhood. What would have happened if she had taken that dance at the ball? Or accepted the invitations to sleepovers that seemed like they didn't matter, instead of hiding away with the group that would pave her future? Would she have been kinder- better for it? Or would she have still distanced herself from those around her, thinking only of what was to come and not what was becoming?

Bella shook herself. Since when did she dwell on the past? It wasn't like her to think about what should have happened- what could have happened. What could have happened wasn't going to stop her now. Not when she was so close to the power- the freedom that the sky would bring. Nothing -- nothing -- could wrench her away from what she could see glistening over her horizons. Nothing. Not the pit in her stomach when she looked at her only true friend, Rodolphus. Or the butterflies when she looked into the eyes of the only boy- man who held her to the ground. The one who kept her head from clouds and hands from idle distractions. Not even if he happened to be one of those distractions. How they lost themselves in each other, whispered carelessly sweet things into the star lit night.

No! There she was again! Thinking of things that didn't matter; couldn't matter. Where would he fit there- in that glorious horizon? Where would he go? By her side? It didn't seem accurate. She couldn't see him sharing the power with her. Not Tom. Sure, he would travel with her, up, but there would be a time when he would leave her behind to fly aimlessly. She would be lost, forgotten in her haze of confusion and heartbreak. It was better to leave him here, on the ground, where he could not hurt her. Wasn't it better to forget that they even happened? Wasn't it safer to think that when she severed herself from him, he would not follow?

Would he?

Merlin. Would he? She had never bothered to ask. She had been so consumed with herself, so careful with herself, she had not considered that maybe-maybe- Tom had wanted her more than he wanted to rise above everything else and cement his legacy. Bella wanted more than anything to find him. She wanted to tell him the truth: that power, history, the stupid, stupid sky, would never hold a candle to the power he gave her when he ran his fingers through her hair or whispered her name into darkness. Her name. He said it like a wicked prayer. It was blasphemous the way it fell from his lips, for what mortal man could hold such sway over another human being and not be their God?

"I have to,"she whispered, jumping away from the window in her dorm. She knew exactly where he would be. It was where he always was, by that dreaded log he seemed to cling to all hours of the day. It was where they had their first kiss. Where they had their first… everything. It loomed behind them, reminding them that their moments were only temporary. It symbolized everything she feared. But, no matter. She had her shoes own before she finished her thought, her jumper slung over her shoulders as it came to a close. Whether he was at that stupid log or not, she was going. She would find him and she would tell him.

Bella ran, her feet sending echoes through the walls of her home that would not be home after the year was through. What sort of home would it be without him anyway? Nowhere would be without Tom's blue eyes drinking her in. Soon, she came to the grounds, the winds whipping her hair around her face and lashing at her flesh viciously as if to say 'turn back before it's too late!' But it was too late. She would never be able to move on without this one crucial moment. Her essential fork in the road. A long and lonely, dead path without him and a welcomingly dark, warm path with him. There would be no light either way. Tom was a complicated creature. In the seven years she had known him, she never could crack open his mind the way he blew hers apart. He searched every crack and crevice in her heart, picking a choosing and pulling a part. How unfair it seemed. Yet, she stayed by his side, never faltering for then it had not been permanent- their connection. A comet of passion for her and, she had initially thought, a fleeting fancy for him. A way to get what they needed without the pressures of society ruining their chances of greater things. How she hoped differently now. How she prayed she had simply jumped to conclusions when it was at her fingertips, not realizing how hard she had fallen, how heavily he had dragged her under. Bella saw him in the distance, she would know his silhouette anywhere.

'Sad,' she thought. 'That I could pick him out in the most dense of crowds.'

"Tom,"she cried, her pace picking up to a near sprint. He was so close, so far away, small, but everything. She wanted to go faster, slow down, get there, but stay in this moment forever. The moment when there was still hope blooming in her chest, a will to believe that Tom was capable of loving her back. Not just capable, was loving her back, for who could she kid, who was there to kid? She loved this man with ever muscle pumping her erratic heart and every breath that whooshed their her straining lungs. She could make it, she could do this, sh-

Was being shoved back- hard. Her tailbone hit the wet ground with a heavy thud and when she looked up, the sight broke her heart. Tom stood in front of her, ever the dark knight, his pale palm jutted out toward her as if he lifted it to say 'stop'.But she hadn't stopped and she could see in his eyes that her dorm, facing the window, had been the safest place for her heart. Bella felt her eyes well with tears at the emotional pain ripping away at her insides. That look. So cold, so distant, so unforgiven. What a fool she was. This was him, clipping her wings, refusing to let her fly. Refusing her.

"No."One word. He gave her one word. No explanation. No reason why. Just….No.

"Why?"She had only whispered, but it carried everything. Every night, every touch, every empty promise he had left littered through her soul. He knelt in front of her, his mop of curls falling over his eyes, the one place she needed to see most, to gouge the truth because, damn her, she still hoped. He said nothing, only kneeled before her, his pale fingers wiping away the tear that trailed down her cold cheek. She shivered. Even now, in the midst of her heart break, he called to her."Tom….please…?"

Look at how low he made her sink. How she begged him to stay with her. To take her with him, but never to leave her behind. Yet, he was standing, turning away from her, taking pieces of her with him, pieces she would never get back. Only when his retreating form was far out of hearing distance, did she fall back into the grass, looking up at the gray sky.

How fitting.

fin

 ** _Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know in the reviews if you enjoyed it- or if you didn't. I love to hear from everyone!!_**

 ** _xoxo El_**


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